What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think what is confidence?
Most of us define confidence as feeling. Usually, this kind of confidence is associated with calmness and ease. When we feel confident, we expect everything we do to be successful.
The problem with describing confidence as just feeling is that in practice it becomes a closed-circle trap. If you do not feel confident, you will not take action to help build your self-confidence.
WHAT IT MEANS CONFIDENCE
The Latin root of the word certainty means “with confidence.” Acting with confidence means that while you are not completely sure of what you are doing, you are giving yourself credit for trust. Self-confidence is about trusting your skills, abilities, and judgments. It is a belief that you can meet the demands of the task.
Confidence, therefore, means being ready to take steps towards goals that are important to you, even if you feel anxious and the outcome is unknown. True confidence is part courage, part competence, mixed with a healthy dose of self-understanding.
WHERE DOES CONFIDENCE COME FROM?
Self-confidence is a condition that permeates your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Being truly self-confident, in addition to self-confidence and feeling capable, expresses faith in your words and actions.
FEELING OF SELF VALUE
Self-confidence is born of self-esteem: remembering who you are, what you value, and the hard work you put in. Research shows that remembering times when you have lived up to your values can reduce the anxiety of getting an important task done.
To be confident is to trust your own abilities and believe that you can do whatever you choose to do. Self-confidence is a necessary but insufficient component of self-confidence. You must have at least some degree of self-confidence to be confident, but self-confidence will not necessarily guarantee you confidence.
Self-confidence is shaped by relationships and experience. The way you relate to yourself influences your anxiety and confidence levels. It is largely dependent on your past and presents family, peer, romantic, and professional relationships.
The people around you are important to your self-confidence. If you grew up in a home where you were mistreated, bullied in school, have a toxic relationship, have a very critical boss or “friends” – your relationship with yourself is probably far from perfect.
Many people believe that self-confidence comes only from within. And yet, external factors – experience, for example, are also important.
Your early life experiences also influence the way you treat yourself.
Self-confidence and experience are positively correlated with each other. This means that by gaining experience in something, you gain confidence.
SELF CONFIDENCE AND A FEELING OF OWN VALUE
Although confidence and self-esteem share common characteristics, they are considered to be two separate concepts.
Self-esteem is a fairly stable trait that does not change much from person to person – unless effort is made to improve it. It can be defined as faith in your own worth and how much you deserve love, happiness, success, and other good things in life.
Confidence, on the other hand, focuses more on the ability to succeed and beliefs about the likelihood of success.
The two terms are very often used interchangeably. So what’s the difference between them? Self-esteem is about the success you deserve, while self-confidence is about the success you can achieve.
CONFIDENCE IN SMALL STEPS
Confidence is not something you need to have every moment, every day.
It is natural to feel insecure, especially in unfamiliar situations or when undertaking new tasks. So if you feel unsure of yourself at times or if you are not sure if you can get the job done well, that’s perfectly normal.
No matter how confident you are, there will always be times when you will feel insecure. Acting in spite of fear is part of the confidence-building process.
So you shouldn’t expect to instantly increase your self-confidence. Building self-confidence is a process that requires your work, but also positive reinforcement from others.
It is very important to exercise self-understanding at all times. You can do this by talking to yourself with the patience and understanding you show a loved one or a child.
When you picture a confident person, you see someone taking great, bold action. But there can also be a lot of courage in small steps.
UNCERTAINTY IS AN IMPORTANT SIGNAL
However, it is not always wrong to lack confidence. Sometimes fear is a signal that you have not prepared enough for something important to you.
Preparation will definitely help reduce your anxiety. However, it’s unrealistic to expect you to feel completely confident before doing something that you perceive as important. Especially when you have little experience in this.
A voice of doubt can also mean you need more information, move in a different direction, or take a break.
Don’t let doubts hold you back too long from taking the next step. Perfectionism likes to lie to us and say that we have to be absolutely sure what to expect. It makes us meet unrealistically high expectations.
When you expect perfection, you feel a lot of fear and prepare for disappointment. When you give yourself permission to make the inevitable mistake, you reduce your anxiety and feel more capable of meeting your realistic expectations.
The real self-confidence is that even when you fail, you are still a person of value. It allows you to have realistic expectations of the results of your actions and be an imperfect human.